Doing It alone...or am I?

I expected to have my friends close by my side this time around...but it didn't happen.
I've been trying to prepare but I feel not ready but ready. I have so much laundry that its driving me crazy!!!!!! As far as the baby coming I am prepared for her to come, I just wish the laundry was done lol.
i'm tired tired tired
feeling very moody and very insecure.
Thank goodness that since everyone is pulling away from me, that my family has been moving in closer. It has been a big help to have their support and love, especially since I feel like I don't have it from anyone else. I may...but I just don't feel it.

Ready or not any day

tired

I'm so tired all day with little burst of energy. But its not enough. If I stay pregnant for the next 4 weeks and don't come early, and stay this tired then I'm going to need some help for sure. I feel like a bad parent to my kids that I have NO energy to take care of them 100% its only like 85% :((((((((( Jesus I hope this baby comes early, like anytime after this Tuesday is fine by me.
I can handle no sleep, or hardly any sleep, but whatever this is that is causing such exhaustion sucks.

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11

11 days of feeling the most empty yet hurt I think I have ever felt. Its the weirdest combination I think I have ever heard of, let alone experienced. I wish things would go back to the way they were 12 days ago. But you cant look back, cause you can never go back. You have to make the best out of every situation and I thought I was doing that, but now I am not so sure. Its hard to tell sometimes I guess. I was raised on "forgive and forget" but how far can that go? what is the cutoff circumstances? It seems to be a blurred line between what is alright and not alright, and what is right and wrong. or maybe it is because people morals and values have changed SO much?
Things that were wrong 5 years ago, are no longer wrong. why? And you cant use the excuse "evolution" or "the world is a different place now"...if evolving into a more unmoral future is what everyone has in mind then I don't think I want to be a part of it. I hope I can raise my children to be wholesome, and upstanding individuals that are loving, kind, respectful, and independent.
anyways, I will just have to dig down deep in myself to decide what I want, what is best for myself and my children. What is right.

complaining 101

so since im ranting on and on tonight....my pelvis hurts, im tired from never sleeping, im hungry...again, i have a headache, its hot, my hands and feet are puffy, im really thirsty...again, one eye hurts from being so tired, pregnancy gave me dark circles under my eyes that make me look like the grim-reaper without make up on, my toe nails look horrible since i tried to paint them and cant reach, there is nothing to watch on tv in the middle of the night, i have like no friends again, im super grumpy, my shirts don't cover my belly anymore, my hubby breaths to loud in his sleep, i need my car washed.....idk i just felt like complaining lol. cant wait to go back to sleep....and hopefully sleep in?????? annnnnd have a great day with the kids!! I love Rory and Myles and the new baby girl