No one's life is perfect. And no one person is perfect. But what counts is if you have the ability to look through all the shit and see all the wonderful blessing you have. Right now is a hard time for my family. But I have been sitting here literally counting my Blessings
-3 wonderful beautiful amazing children that are super smart and outgoing.
-Brian, who is taking care of us and making sure we have everything we need. and who is alwasy going to be there for us.
-some of the most amazing friends a person could ever ask for
-family that is their for us day or night
-a nice place to call home
-a car that works and has never broken down
-some awesome neighbors
- and so much more....
sometimes i feel like i cant get out of the suck, but then i realize that's not exactly true. everyone has some bad moments, but those wont last forever. they are just moments in time that will pass soon. and if you invest all your time and energy into the blessing that you have, then you don't have time to be in the suck.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Finding True Definitions
Some things I have been thinking about
mis·take- an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc.
jeal·ous- characterized by or proceeding from suspicious fears or envious resentment: a jealous rage; jealous intrigues.
inclined to or troubled by suspicions or fears of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims: a jealous husband.
think- to have a conscious mind, to some extent of reasoning, remembering experiences, making rational decisions, etc.
ra·tion·al-having or exercising reason, sound judgment, or good sense:
heart·break- great sorrow, grief, or anguish.
trust-reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence. confident expectation of something; hope.
re·spect-esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability
love- 1.a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3.sexual passion or desire.
4.a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
di·vorce- to break the marriage contract between oneself and (one's spouse) by divorce: She divorced her husband.
there were more but i thought this was enough for one blog
mis·take- an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc.
jeal·ous- characterized by or proceeding from suspicious fears or envious resentment: a jealous rage; jealous intrigues.
inclined to or troubled by suspicions or fears of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims: a jealous husband.
think- to have a conscious mind, to some extent of reasoning, remembering experiences, making rational decisions, etc.
ra·tion·al-having or exercising reason, sound judgment, or good sense:
heart·break- great sorrow, grief, or anguish.
trust-reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence. confident expectation of something; hope.
re·spect-esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability
love- 1.a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3.sexual passion or desire.
4.a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
di·vorce- to break the marriage contract between oneself and (one's spouse) by divorce: She divorced her husband.
there were more but i thought this was enough for one blog
Sunday, January 8, 2012
You Can't Always Get What You Want
so that saying isn't something I am not familiar with. Especially at this point in my life, it is a very true saying. And I think I am ok with that. Coming to terms that I can not alwasy get what I want. If I did I would be one spoiled bitch. lol. But wants and needs are so different. and a lot of people don't realise what is a want vs. what is a need.
needless to say, i cant always get what i want. but what i need will alwasy be provided.
This goes for everyone. A lot of people dont get this concept at all. Always focused on "i want this","i want that" whine whine bitch bitch moan moan. like seriously?! what is wrong with people these days?! i guess i really have no room to talk actually. lol . I am constantly thinking about the things that are going on in my life. what they mean, what direction they are going on, what i should do, what others should do. and what i want out of it or from it. and its all because i want something that i cant get. but now that i am coming to terms with that. and realising that maybe that is something i dont actually want. Why would i want something that hurts me so badly? why would i want something that doesnt care about me? why would i want something that lies to me all the time? but then again thats a want....and there are so many positives that i dont say. im not sure why i dont say them.
but that is another subject entirely.
im learning to take control but to also take a step back. if that makes scene...well it does to me. I NEED to do what i NEED to do to make sure i have all the NEEDS of my family met. people can call me what they want, but i cant be a push over anymore. i need to stop and truly put the NEEDS before anything.
needless to say, i cant always get what i want. but what i need will alwasy be provided.
This goes for everyone. A lot of people dont get this concept at all. Always focused on "i want this","i want that" whine whine bitch bitch moan moan. like seriously?! what is wrong with people these days?! i guess i really have no room to talk actually. lol . I am constantly thinking about the things that are going on in my life. what they mean, what direction they are going on, what i should do, what others should do. and what i want out of it or from it. and its all because i want something that i cant get. but now that i am coming to terms with that. and realising that maybe that is something i dont actually want. Why would i want something that hurts me so badly? why would i want something that doesnt care about me? why would i want something that lies to me all the time? but then again thats a want....and there are so many positives that i dont say. im not sure why i dont say them.
but that is another subject entirely.
im learning to take control but to also take a step back. if that makes scene...well it does to me. I NEED to do what i NEED to do to make sure i have all the NEEDS of my family met. people can call me what they want, but i cant be a push over anymore. i need to stop and truly put the NEEDS before anything.
Friday, January 6, 2012
your nagitivity is not helping the situation
Its no surprise to anyone that the last few months have been hard for me. Actually, the most difficult things I have ever had to deal with. I am learning to pick myself up again. And every day I feel more like myself. I didn't realize that over the past few years i had lost so much of myself, and now that I am getting her back i feel SOOO much better. I feel like myself, I am happier, more confident, and outgoing. Even tho this situation is not ideal... i actually hate it. i hate my situation, but i am learning to embrace it and learn from it. I've realized how many mistakes I have made over the years, how i wasn't always the nicest person to deal with and I was just super judgmental . I had all these "issues" that shouldn't have been a problem. I made things bigger than what they needed to be. I didn't trust people, and felt like I couldn't rely on them. Especially Brian. Why...? I have no idea.But i, thankfully, and not that person anymore. I found this new me who i love. and everyone should get to know this new me because it makes me happy.
on another note:
Its easy for most people to judge and put in their opinions and ideas for what i should do, how i should handle everything, or say negative things about Brian or myself. But there is just one problem with that. No one truly knows Brian and mines situation but us. And that's the way it should be. No one needs to know every in an out of our relationship together. So i would just advise that I will no longer tolerate anyone speaking badly about my decisions, Brian's decisions, how i am handling things or anything about this. Unless i ask you for advice, and i wont. then just stop. I would rather not talk to anyone who is going to be only negative. I don't need a bunch of that in my life right now. its not going to help anyone. And all anyone is doing is hurting me and possibly hurting Brian. Right now, he is still my husband and i will trust him, believe him, and try my best to be a good wife to him. even now that we're separated i will still do that. Why? because no matter what, I still love him, and want him to be happy. people say i need to say when enough is enough...well I'm saying it, enough is enough. but not for my marriage but with everyone else and their negativity. Every negative comment, remark, or judgment that someone else says about this only pushes Brian and I further away from each other and further away from you. I'm not saying we will ever get back together or anything, but I am my own person, and i will decide what i do, how i do it, how i deal with things, and what is right for me.
end of story.
on another note:
Its easy for most people to judge and put in their opinions and ideas for what i should do, how i should handle everything, or say negative things about Brian or myself. But there is just one problem with that. No one truly knows Brian and mines situation but us. And that's the way it should be. No one needs to know every in an out of our relationship together. So i would just advise that I will no longer tolerate anyone speaking badly about my decisions, Brian's decisions, how i am handling things or anything about this. Unless i ask you for advice, and i wont. then just stop. I would rather not talk to anyone who is going to be only negative. I don't need a bunch of that in my life right now. its not going to help anyone. And all anyone is doing is hurting me and possibly hurting Brian. Right now, he is still my husband and i will trust him, believe him, and try my best to be a good wife to him. even now that we're separated i will still do that. Why? because no matter what, I still love him, and want him to be happy. people say i need to say when enough is enough...well I'm saying it, enough is enough. but not for my marriage but with everyone else and their negativity. Every negative comment, remark, or judgment that someone else says about this only pushes Brian and I further away from each other and further away from you. I'm not saying we will ever get back together or anything, but I am my own person, and i will decide what i do, how i do it, how i deal with things, and what is right for me.
end of story.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)